Drugs

In my very minor experience with allergies, there is this issue of obtaining medicine. Benadryl’s a pretty good one. The recommended dosage is two tablets. I take only one, and even with that dosage, I’m ready for nap about an hour after taking it. It makes for a good sleep aid, if one is so inclined. If I had my druthers, I’d take one that doesn’t make me drowsy, but most of the non-drowsy stuff available off the shelves doesn’t really work that well.

I wrote to a friend about this a while back. She’d advised that I take an antihistamine. Here’s my response:

“The unclehistamine that works well for me is Claritin D. Of course, you’ve gotta go to the counter and get it and swear on a stack of bibles and give up your life and make a pact with the devil that you will not use it for making meth. You also have to show your driver’s license; leave a tooth impression; have them take your finger, toe and elbow prints; sign, seal and deliver your honor in blood; cross your fingers 13 times while saying, ‘There’s no place like home,’ present a copy of your birth certificate; give your mother’s maiden name or that of your favorite pet; recite your social security number backwards; send a self-addressed, stamped envelope to the charity of your choice (what they’ll do with it I have no clue); play three bars of ‘I’ve Been Working on the Railroad’ on your cell phone; take lessons on how to swallow a pill; prove that you actually have allergies (even though you’ve been sneezing and dripping snot and tears all over the counter); prove that you have not taken any multivitamins for the last 64-1/2 hours; and inhale the gas of five helium balloons and sing the National Anthem while doing jumping jacks and eating five powdered donuts, all in 30 seconds.”

So I don’t take Claritin D.

3 Comments

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  By Eric Lee, May 13, 2009 @ 8:33 am

  Great post. I will read your posts frequently. Added you to the RSS reader.

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  By Erin, May 17, 2009 @ 8:16 am

  Love it! I need to have Chris read this – he is always frustrated by the fact that he can’t buy regular sudafed after pharmacy hours. (He always mutters, “Communists!” That’s his explanation for most things that don’t make sense

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  By KeHoeff, May 28, 2009 @ 1:41 pm

  hey this is a very interesting article!

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