Typogrhpacil Errosr

One of my favorite typos of all times (that I discovered) was found during the time President Ronald Reagan had melanoma on his nose. The headline said:

“Reagan to have tissue removed from nose.”

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An ad for Nutri/System Weight Loss Centers:

LOSE

ALL THE WEIGHT YOU WANT

OR JUST $129

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If you’re from Iowa, you’ll appreciate this.Here’s a report I found in the Wyoming Tribune-Eagle:

“Laura M. Patridge of Cheyenne earned a degree Aug. 6 from Iowa State University in Aims.”

Go Cyclones!

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“The reaction from New Hampshire, where the state motto is “Live Free of Die,” has been mixed.

In other words, gambling must be illegal there.

Methinks something went awry…read carefully (no typo, just confusion as to what the article’s about):

“DEFICIT: ‘We have removed an ally of al-Qaida,’ the president said in May.

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In an article about “how to take the worry out of buying furniture”:

“Here’s how: There’s an old saying that goes, ‘where you guy is just as important as why you buy,’ …

Where do you guy?

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“This is a violation of the commandment ‘Thou shalt not bare false witness.’”

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About a man who committed suicide: “He had many friends in all age groups and a love of life.”

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“Survivor’s wife faces trail”

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Have you ever taken part in one of these?

“The students of [So-and-So] performed in the spring rectial held at the United Methodist Church…”

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Mixing cultures:

“bin Laden and his boys have got it wong”

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The Jebusites, the Hivites, the Levites, and…

“Minorites facing big mental health hurdles”

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“Study: Patients fails pill routine”

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“New Gillette ice ink possible with higher fees”

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“Feds indentified 64 stem cells”

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Here’s Ronnie again:

“Former President Ronald Reagan and his wife Nancy, right, his daughter Maureen, and Maureen’s husband, Dennis Revell, pose for this family photograph in Los Angles during Christmas of 1998.”

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“A black footed ferret peaks from a prairie dog burrow after his release on Bureau of Land Management land south of Malta, Mont.”

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“Rancher proposes switch to bison

“Says they fair better against bears” (or is it “bares”?)

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In a catalog: “Pastry Scraper: Cut, lift and turn delicate doughs and scrape flower from your work area….”

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Who says the Messiah didn’t have children?

“He was born June 13, 1927, in Arlington, S.D., the son of Christ and Matilda Christensen…”

(Not only was he the son of Christ, but he was a Christensen!)

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“Professor won’t to appeal death”

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“Pension fund sin trouble, Congress ponders changes”

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“Former blacktistee gets her star”

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“Discount cards play a big roll in Medicare fight”

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“Girl chews threw tape, escapes”

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Category: interesting names.

Stacy Jo Stacy

Calla Lily Propp

Merrie Christmas Day — she was born Merrie Christmas Ruben on December 24, 1926, and married Nelson Edward Day.

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Headline: “Fireworks likely cause of fire”

Text “‘…They had this fire going over here and they probably couldn’t put it out so they took off scarred,’ Young said in a telephone interview.”

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Yeah, we’re getting sick of those projects:

“Candidates pledge more dam projects”

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Cinnamon

Crispies

6-ct.

Maid in our Safeway Bakery.

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In a paper dated 8/3/03 was an ad for a lost Sheltie:

“Lost in the Willow Pond subdivision 9/25/03.”

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“King holds a record 20 Wimbledon tittles…”

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Adding computers to the Peanuts cartoons:

“Utah firm sues Linus systems”

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“Driver: Breaks caused accident”

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Header for an article about Wyoming Territorial Park:

“Territorial prison seeks money”

You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.

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I’ll be watching for it:

“Lamb producers plan ad campaign

Bank on ‘Meat Lover Know’ slogan”

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I just hope when I typed these there are no typos in here.

Say What?

This is the first in a series of newspaper clippings that tickle my funny bone.

They’re perhaps not knee-slappers. But they’re curious and cute…I just have a thing about typos.

In this series I’m also going to include a few clips from our local newsrag, the Washington Evening Journal. The reality is that if it weren’t for the police log, our paper would have little in it. Or perhaps there might be more content about actual local news that is worthy of printing. What a concept!

You get to decide if they’re funny or not — to you.

Not all are from the Journal. Some come from the Casper Star-Tribune. A few come from the Sidney [Iowa] Argus-Herald. Some come from the Wyoming Tribune-Eagle. There might be one or two from the Louisville Courier-Journal and the Oneonta Star.

Let us begin.

Small-town & rural life (the incidents may not be that funny but the wording makes me laugh):

Police report: “Fire alarms were reported going off Monday afternoon in the 1100 block of East Washington street in Washington. The Washington Fire Department responded. A burning bagel set off the alarm.”

(Turn your toaster setting down.)

“A caller in the 2600 block of Sockum Ridge Road in Washington reported Saturday afternoon that he was burning and it was getting out of control. The Wayland Fire Department responded.”

(Ouch. That’s gotta hurt.)

“A caller in the 1700 block of 130th Street in Wellman reported Saturday afternoon that she was cleaning her oven and it was on fire. Wellman Fire responded and the fire was extinguished.”

(I guess the “Easy Off” wasn’t so easy.)

“A caller in Riverside reported Sunday afternoon that someone had put a dead coyote in her vehicle. Officers spoke with the caller…”

(The gift that keeps on giving.)

“A caller in the 200 block of West Sixth Street in Washington reported Sunday afternoon that there was a bad odor coming from a neighboring house. Officers responded. The house was being renovated.”

(Febreze will take care of that problem.)

The case of the wayward chihuahua:

“A Chihuahua reportedly kept coming into a fenced-in yard Sunday afternoon in the 600 block of North Fourth Avenue in Washington. The incident was documented.”

“A Chihuahua was reported in a yard in the 700 block of North Fourth Avenue in Washington Thursday morning causing problems. Officers were unable to locate.”

“A Chihuahua was reported running loose Monday afternoon in the 900 block of North Fifth Avenue and was reported ‘terrorizing’ day care children. Officers responded and were unable to locate the owner.”

(Washington’s version of the War on Terror.)

“A caller in the 1000 block of North Eighth Avenue in Washington requested documentation Saturday morning of finding two golf balls in her shrubs. The incident was documented.”

(That golfer needs to take some lessons.)

“A vehicle was reported on Highway 1 in Washington with front-end damage and two flat tires Friday morning.  Officers located the vehicle. [Person], of Wellman was cited for operating a vehicle on the roadway.”

(Did you hear about that new law?)

“A green and white truck reportedly drove up to a house in the 500 block of South C Avenue in Washington and smashed pumpkins Sunday night.”

(Someone needs to send that truck to anger management class.)

“A vehicle was reported traveling in excess of 80 mph into Washington on Highway 92. City units were advised. The vehicle was located in the Washington County Hospital parking lot.”

(Probably faster than an ambulance, and with police escort, too!)

“A caller at North Fifth Avenue and East Seventh Street in Washington reported Monday evening her husband was going through a ‘psychic thing again’ and requested an officer. Nothing physical was happening. Officers reponded. The female stayed with a friend for a night.”

(Those darned psychic things!)

“A 16-year-old girl was reported stuck on a mud road in Wayland Friday evening. …

(She probably ought to wear better boots next time.)

“…requested documentation Monday evening that his 15-year-old daughter hadn’t returned home after school. The caller advised the subject is under ‘China’ and is ordered home after school.”

(I’d have a little trouble getting home, too, if I were under China.)

More to come…